In this podversation, Paul Brewerton, the strengths guy, talks with sisters Roohi and Nida Mohiyuddin, two inspiring women who have just launched Nu(pw)R, a new business designed to empower women through a unique three stage process. Roohi and Nida tell their story – what led them to set out on their journey and what difference they hope to achieve in the world. They tell us about their programme – The Confident Empowered Woman – and provide some tips and advice on how women can
To find out more about Nu(pw)R and the Confident Empowered Woman, please visit their website https://nupwr.co.uk/ I strongly recommend that you do.
There is also a lot of powerful content on their blog. The following appeared first on https://nupwr.co.uk/10-essentials-for-being-a-little-bit-happier-mbg-way-bgn/: 10 ways to feel a little bit happierHappiness is about living each moment with love, joy, and gratitude. It is about appreciating the now and all it has to offer. Happiness should not be about chasing moments, it is right in front of us if we only open our eyes to it. Happiness is often described as a state of mind. However, during tough times in your life, this can be hard to put into practice. Often in crisis, the focus is simply about trying to process events and feelings, which is important. Happiness isn’t stagnant or consistent. As humans, we experience a range of emotions, which are all equally important as it makes us who we are. These experiences allow us to learn, grow and appreciate both the good and bad times in life. I wish I could tell you the secret ingredient to happiness. The truth is there isn’t one. Happiness is about cherishing the beautiful moments in life. It’s about staying present and being appreciative, not attaching it to a certain event or goal. It is different for everyone. Happiness cannot be earned or owned, it is not about what we own or have, it is simply about being content with what we have and where we are. It is important to remember that you do not have to be happy all the time. That is unrealistic. But there are a few things you can do to be a little happier regardless of what is going on around you. Making little changes in your day can help you deal with harder times head-on. You have everything you need within you to overcome any difficulty you may face. So embrace challenges knowing that they will pass, that you can get through it, and it will be OK. 1) Express Daily GratitudePracticing gratitude daily is crucial for setting your mindset for happiness. Being grateful is so powerful. There is no right or wrong way for expressing this. or any strict guidelines or limitations. So how does it work? Practicing gratitude is a really simple exercise and can be done anywhere at any time. You could simply state three things you are grateful for before going to bed, which ends the day on a positive note. It could also be a beautiful way to start the day. You can make a note of the things you are grateful for in a journal which is a great way to keep a record of it. You could say the things you are grateful for out loud or share them with those you love. Start simple. Be grateful for the simple pleasures of life, the things that make you smile, and all the amazing things around you. Try to be grateful for something different every day. Expressing gratitude allows you to see the beauty in the things around you which allows you to shine a little brighter everyday.
2) Great things take time to build – Don’t give upRemember everything takes time, effort, and commitment. Be patient with yourself and enjoy the process. Whether you embark on a new fitness journey, learn something new, or start a new business remember to be consistent and accountable. Set yourself small goals you can work towards and big ones you hope to reach in the future. Vision boards and goal lists can be a great way to motivate you to keep going. Waiting for happiness, as if it is something that happens to you, will only lead to disappointment. Be happy with what you have and remember you will get to where you want to be. Enjoy the journey and experience, because it is equally as important as the destination. 3) Say “yes” to thinks that feel right (Don’t overthink everything)Try not to be overcautious about everything. Trust your instincts and believe in yourself. Your instincts can be a great indicator of when to take the leap and try something new or when to let loose and enjoy a new experience. If someone wants to take you out and it feels right, go for it. If a new job opportunity comes your way and you know it’s what you have always wanted to do, take it. If moving to a new city or far away in the countryside is what you need, then do it. Don’t let the fear of change hold you back, do whatever feels right.
4) Be generous and give backI find the best way to feel instantly happier is by helping others in times of need. Whether it is someone that could do with a smile or a chat or someone that is really and overwhelmed reach out. Putting a smile on someone’s face can be instant gratification. Making someone’s day a little better and easier can be really rewarding. Babysitting while a new mum gets a nap, buying someone a hot meal when they really need it or checking in with people with a simple phone call is easy to do but could mean the world to them. A kind word or a connection on the street with someone through a smile can go such a long way if they are having a bad day. I truly believe what you give comes back to you. Be aware of your own needs and ensure that you are taking care of yourself too. You can only give if you are at your best. Click here to read the remaining 6 Ways to Feel a Little Bit Happier on Roohi and Nida’s website.
Thank you to Roohi and Nida for taking the time to appear on this weeks podcast. Look out for more podversations in the months ahead. Get the The Strengths Guy podcast on all major podcast platforms. Find it on Apple podcasts, Spotify, Google podcasts, Stitcher, ACast, TuneIn, Breaker and Soundcloud. Please support this podcast by leaving a review and subscribing to get it at the start of the working week!
Related posts:Via https://www.strengthscope.com/empowering-women/
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Introduction to Rebecca Christianson – Thrive People ConsultingRebecca’s been building her own people consultancy for some time now. She’s an Executive coach and an expert on innovative People & Culture practices as she worked as an internal P&C senior leader and Executive for over 15 years. She coaches senior leaders to focus on mind-set shifts to thrive, using a strengths based and neuropsychology approach. She has a psychology background and is endlessly curious about people.
Rebecca also partners with People & Culture teams to provide strategic advice on developing a People strategy, undertaking culture and capability assessments to enable organisations to understand how their change effort are progressing and is experienced at resetting People and HR teams. She is super passionate about harnessing the power of Millennial leadership capability and that is why we are here today. Managing millennials – introductionThe focus of this blog is on working with and leading millennials. Now I just want to say before we get into this that it is of course true that categorising people in big groups like ‘millennials’ can be problematic if we end up making sweeping assumptions about literally everyone in that group just because they happen to be categorised in that way. What we know though is that the social/economical/technological/political context and experience that people born between say 1980 and 1996 was different from those who came before and after. And that context may well have had a shaping effect on those people which makes a difference to the way in which they engage with work, in general, and with big individual differences of course. With that health warning delivered, over to Rebecca…
Paul: Who are Millennials?Rebecca: Millennials or Gen Y’s are those currently aged approximately 25-41 years old. US and UK age ranges vary for this cohort. From a career journey perspective, they range from those who have a few years work experience up their sleeve to those ‘old millennials’ like me who have been in senior leadership and Executive roles at a young age for the last 5-10 years. Paul: Why is it important to be having this conversation on Millennials now?Rebecca: Millennials now comprise of 25-40% of the workforce and research tell us that we will be 60-70% in the next 10 years so our voice will only be getting louder in the workplace. I have worked across multiple sectors in Australia, the UK and Europe in senior P&C roles and I have experienced first-hand the frustrations Millennials have with the current working world. They are demanding that we shift to the new world of work. They are voicing their dissatisfaction and showing it with their feet by leaving organisations in droves. According to US research, the average tenure for someone under 40 is 3 years, whereas for those over 50 years it is 10.1 years. Paul: How are their work expectations different from other generations?Millennials often want some of what other generations want, however there are 4 differences in this cohort of people:
Rebecca: What are the strengths of Millennials? How are they unique from other generations in the workforce? What does the research on strengths tell us about Millennials though?Paul: In 2017, Strengthscope undertook extensive research on workplace strengths with an expert statistician, using a sample of 47,000 employees from our Strengthscope® database. Strengthscope® measures 24 work-based strengths divided into 4 categories: Emotional, Relational, Thinking and Execution strengths. Strengths are universal. Strengthscope® strengths were found to be consistent across countries and regions. Across 26 countries and 5 geographical regions, differences in scores across 24 work-related strengths were found to be negligible. This tells us that the strengths Strengthscope® measures are universal and not affected by people’s country of origin. Generations don’t differ. Across 6,000 baby boomers and 11,000 millennials, no meaningful generational differences were identified. This means for all the talk of workers changing markedly from generation to generation, what energises and strengthens people is actually consistent over these generations…people are not changing, at least not as fast as the world around them. Rebecca: Despite there being no statistical difference in the strengths across generations, millennials have much higher expectations that their strengths be utilised in their role and will often leave if this is not the case. They want to feel happy and energised by the work they do. Paul: Why is taking an employee experience (EX) approach with engaging and developing Millennials important? What is EX in simple terms? How have you used EX principles to co-design people solutions in the workplace?Rebecca: EX is adopting principles from customer experience. Put simply taking an EX approach is treating your employees like important customers, segmenting them, understanding their needs and designing bespoke people solutions. It includes the co-design of initiatives to increase ownership and engagement. I use an EX approach when designing leadership programs – ask the leaders what they want to get better at and ask their direct reports what they want their leaders to dial up to help understand what topics to cover in the program. Doing this engages everyone in the process, it is not pushing content onto learners and is a great part of the communications strategy to promote the program. Leaders love being asked and you receive much better feedback on the programs. Paul: If I am a Millennial, what can I do to be more effective within organisations? What are my ‘watch out’ or development areas?Rebecca:
Paul: If I am a leader/HR leader, then what do I need to look out for with my own assumptions / judgements?Rebecca: Seeing Millennials as too relaxed, or non-corporate = actually they want to work in authentic workplace without the corporate nonsense and façade. They want their leaders to be real and care about them. Seeing Millennials as lazy as they often won’t work long hours = actually they value their work life balance, they have many interests outside of work and won’t sacrifice their wellbeing for a job / organisation like has been the case with other generations. Seeing Millennials as too honest/critical – they actually have a desire to improve the status quo. Paul: Rebecca, thank you so much for taking the time to share your insights into working with, and managing, millennials. It’s been fascinating, revealing, real and practically very helpful too. Thank you! For more from Rebecca, please check her article here. Get the The Strengths Guy podcast on all major podcast platforms. Find it on Apple podcasts, Spotify, Google podcasts, Stitcher, ACast, TuneIn, Breaker and Soundcloud. Please support this podcast by subscribing to get it at the start of the working week!
Related posts:Via https://www.strengthscope.com/managing-millennials/ Whoever you are, today’s tech is pretty mind-blowing. But we humans are adaptable creatures, and tech acceleration hasn’t all happened in one go, and we’ve pretty much kind of sort of managed to keep pace, adapt and get the best from what’s out there as it’s evolved.
Why do we need self-management?However, our tech-enabled world has come at a price. It can be genuinely challenging to deal with the pace and volume of information coming at us day to day, to sift and sense-make, to stay focused and not distracted, sticking with things for longer than 30 seconds, seeing through the dopamine-laced design of much of the tech that surrounds us. That’s really hard. And to a lesser or greater extent, it’s affecting our sleep patterns, our relationships, our stress levels. I’m not an anti-techer (although I’m not an early adopter either, I kind of want to see evidence that something works and is valuable I jump in). I’m all about Netflix and iPhones, Spotify and FitBit because I feel that tech genuinely enriches my life. But with all those potential distractions surrounding you, how can you improve your self-management game to keep on top of your personal productivity and stay in control? How can you improve personal productivity with all this going on?I’m going to make this punchy because there’s a lot we could dive into but I want to stay focused. And if you’re interested in this topic, my back catalogue has quite a few ideas. To select just two: How to do a digital detox was my third ever podcast, way back at Season 1, episode 3. The more recent Making homeworking work for you at Season 6, episode 12, has some practical tips on managing your homeworking routine to stay productive. Both of these are worth a listen for more. Today, I’m going to focus in on some practical tips for digital era self-management and productivity. Including:
Remember who’s in controlWhich is easy to say and much harder to do. But at the end of it all, Netflix doesn’t control you, you don’t have to binge-watch a series just because it’s feeding you a new episode after 10 seconds and you just can’t seem to find the remote in time to pause it. Your fitness tech isn’t demanding that you go out for a run or that your resting heart rate needs to be X bpm. Yes these technologies are all designed to nudge you, remind you, gain your attention, ultimately to gain a maximum share of your interactive hours. You paid for them, you know where the off buttons are, you can pause them whenever you like. I remember going without FitBit (and Strava) for a few weeks and just running free – no strap on my wrist, no record of where I’d been or how fast I was running, no biofeedback. It was wonderful, it helped me reset and when I went back to both, it was a choice and it reminded me that I was in control. Remember that you have choices, you are the boss of the tech and not the other way round. If it’s helping you live your best life, genuinely, good, that’s a win. If not, switch off and reset to stay productive and happy.
Be presentWith homeworking on the increase and tech distraction turned up to 11, being present is harder than ever. But, I can’t emphasise enough what a positive difference building a practice around being present will have. What I mean by this is stopping everything a few times a day and making a conscious choice where you’re sat (or even better out in nature) to allow your senses to take in everything and just be fully there for a few moments. Inevitably, you’ll get distracted again by a thought or feeling or to do list item but the trick then is to catch yourself at the moment of distraction and go back to being present in the moment. Doing that repeatedly means you get better at spotting the distraction and making a choice to push it away and move back to just being in the moment. I find that reassuring and real – being present and mindful isn’t about being a superhuman “Zen God” where you’re never distracted. In fact the distractions are helpful. That practice is at the heart of self-management, self-control and in the end, personal productivity, because you’re stretching your focus muscles each time you get distracted and then bring your focus and attention back to the moment. They’re not actual muscles obviously, they’re neural pathways helping you build self-control. Prioritise true human connectionWe’re hearing more and more about relationships being negatively affected by digital life and while it’s easy to blame invasive technology for that, of course in the end, it’s a choice for each of us. The pandemic is making it harder to connect in person but we can still use technology to connect with friends, family, work colleagues in more meaningful ways. We’ve naturally become more used to reading emotions through screens and if we’re prepared to ask real questions and to truly listen, then it’s still more than possible to connect on a human level. Personally, I like to tell people how I’m feeling when I’m feeling a feeling if I’m meeting them through a screen because it isn’t always obvious and of course that can take a bit of courage (to say, wow that’s making me feel quite emotional, or ok I didn’t expect that feeling to be so strong) but it really helps that human-human connection that most of us naturally crave. And with more meaningful human connections, we develop more of a support network to help us stay well and to thrive when we’re facing in to more challenging times. A quick word here on leadership in the digital era – as a leader and a manager, in these tech-enabled times, it’s important to get good at asking questions, listening, reading emotions through a screen, really connecting. I have some more tips on this and managing people virtually in my podcast on Getting the best from remote management at Season 7, episode 1. Build digital self-management habitsIn terms of self-management and maximising personal productivity, building in good detox habits through each day can be a real cornerstone. What do I mean? Well, sleep hygiene for one – making your bedroom a tech-free zone is a great start. I listen to Brene Brown’s Unlocking Us podcast channel often enough to have heard her rapidfire questions at the end of each show a few times and one of the questions she always asks her guests is ‘what do you have on your bedside table?’ and every time people have such interesting answers. I don’t. I have a bottle of water. That’s it. No tech, no TV in the room, blackout curtains, done. Boring. And, for me, the best way to set myself up for a good day ahead as many days of the week as I can. Sleep aside, I’m also talking here about building habits, routines and even household rules about when and where tech is ok and not ok. No tech at the dinner table. Or maybe even upstairs. Taking regular breaks during the day from any technology. Getting into nature. Being able to close the door (or the lid) on work. These are mini-breaks, not full-blooded attempts to digitally detox, it’s more digital self-management. In conclusionThat’s it, I said today’s blog would be short(er) and punchy(er) so there you have it. To maximise your personal productivity and self-management in the digital era, remember who’s in control, be present, prioritise true human connection and build daily digital self-management habits. Till next time, stay strong. You can find this podcast on Apple podcasts, Spotify, Google podcasts, Stitcher, ACast, TuneIn, Breaker and Soundcloud. Please support it by subscribing to get it at the start of the working week!
Related posts:Via https://www.strengthscope.com/self-management-personal-productivity/ Feedback is a two-way streetWay way back I blogged and podcast on giving and receiving feedback, both positive and negative, at season 1, episode 4. The main focus of that podcast and blog was on giving feedback well, but I touched on receiving feedback well too, specifically I talked about the importance of being respectful, listening well and asking clarifying questions. So do please go back and have a listen particularly if you’re looking for a simple effective method for giving feedback well. In this podcast, though, I go more in depth on dealing with negative feedback that comes your way in terms of its emotional impact, how to respond to it and how to potentially act on it.
I’ll be bringing in personal examples to illustrate what I mean. I’ll be drawing on examples of dealing with negative feedback from work and home for this podcast because both are relevant and just as important and high stakes as one another, because emotions and well-being are involved, often of both parties. What do we mean by ‘feedback’?First up, when I say ‘feedback’, I’m talking about something that someone says to or about you that relates to something they’ve experienced in the way that you’ve behaved – something you may have said or done. When people ask…‘Can I just talk about something that happened in that meeting?’ or ‘I’d like to talk about something that’s not quite sitting right with me…’ or the more obvious, ‘Can I give you some feedback…?’, you know that they’re likely to be about to offer you an observation about something you’ve said or done that has had an impact on them. So my tips for dealing with feedback, particularly feedback that has emotional weight to it are to prepare for it, ask for examples, don’t take it personally, sit with it then decide and finally to ask for it. 1. How to prepare to receive feedbackFirst of all, preparing yourself for feedback. Most humans, when faced with a sentence like ‘Can I give you some feedback…’ or ‘I’m not very happy about something I’d like to talk to you about…’ will perceive what’s about to arrive as a threat, and that’s likely to trigger an automatic defensive response of fight or flight or freeze. This is a totally understandable and natural response so don’t worry if it happens to you. It’s like you plus pretty much everyone else, ever. However, going into an automatic survival mode probably won’t make you as receptive as you might be to hearing the feedback and asking questions, so the preparation I’m talking about is to try and get yourself into an emotional state that will allow you to receive the feedback well. Try to allow the person giving you the feedback to be heard and to ask clarifying questions to make sure you’ve heard it right.
Example: carving out space to hear the feedback wellThis isn’t easy but there are ways you can help yourself. Example: my partner recently said to me that there was something that wasn’t quite right for her about the way we were sharing household duties that day and she was feeling there was too much on her. But the way she did that really helped me to get to a better place emotionally to truly hear her. Earlier in the day I said ‘You ok?’ and she said ‘I’m not sure, let me sit with it and we can talk about it later’. In response, I had tried to get a read on what was going on for her so that I could take immediate action and had started asking her questions right in the midst of kid and work pressures, interruptions and no headspace. But it was the wrong time. For a bunch of reasons, my partner saying ‘let’s talk about it later’ is a really good tactic because she’s giving herself future space to work through what she’s observing and feeling AND she’s mentally carving out a future time that day when we will have a chance to talk in a connected, unrushed way not surrounded by children wanting adult input or being focused on work demands. I’ll level with you, it wasn’t that easy for me to sit with the not knowing what was going on for her because I like taking action so that everyone’s happy. But it was the right thing to do. When we did talk later, it was on the sofa, just us and she said exactly what she had been feeling and we both explored how we could handle the next day differently. Which we did. We were both less stressed by that point. I could really listen, I was able to physically connect with her, we could both reassure each other and I could ask for examples. I hope that example’s been helpful. So my first tip is to give yourself the best chance of being prepared to hear the feedback, which will usually involve creating the right space and the right environment to be ready to listen and to allow the other person to be heard. 2. Understand what you’re hearingMy second tip is to really understand what the feedback means for the other person. And that might mean respectfully asking for examples or to clarify where there’s a difference of view. While the survive/defend/justify part of you might be screaming ‘But I also need to say my part! This isn’t fair! I want to be understood! When do I get to speak my truth!’, now is not the time. Get straight what they mean first and show that you’ve understood by clarifying until you arrive at the same place. 3. Take your time and sit with the feedbackMy third tip is to receive negative feedback seriously, but never personally. When someone is giving you feedback, it’s rare that it will be a personal attack on you. And if it is, that’s not really feedback, something else is likely to be going on with the other person relating to their agenda only and it may need a different approach. Sometimes, negative feedback may feel unfair, it may feel like you have been misunderstood or that your interpretation of events is very different from someone else’s. And that’s all ok. The purpose here is to get value from the feedback that’s being offered and not for your point of view to be heard, or for you to satisfy your ego. So, assuming that you’re receiving negative feedback from someone who has positive intentions, how are you going to get the positives from it? My advice is to sit with the feedback, let it take its time. That might be for a few minutes if the emotional element is limited. It might though be hours or even days. Or you might think you’ve processed it and understood it, but it may actually be days or weeks later when something else happens and it’s only then that you have your lightbulb moment of realisation. Things connect in your brain and the learning insight pops out. So be prepared for that, stay open to it, stay curious and keep challenging your own defensive response so that you can keep holding that broader interpretation of events. Only when you’re ready, take the learning forward. After all, emotions are information, not a call to action. You can also choose to not do anything with the feedback, it is fine to decide to not do anything with it, other than to hear it and to show that you’ve heard it. It is possible that two alternative ‘truths’ or interpretations of an event can co-exist and that’s ok. Example: taking the time before deciding on actionTo illustrate that, my second example is a work one. I got some feedback recently about the importance for me of boundarying – I mean making sure that I am clear on the boundaries that I have with people at work, which I find challenging because I like to share and I encourage people to bring all of themselves to work authentically. And that can sometimes be difficult for people either to do themselves or to know how to respond to me doing it.
This feedback came via a third party – not the perfect way for feedback to come to you, but it’s often the way it happens. When I first heard it, I was definitely triggered defensively, I had an emotional ‘That’s not fair and it’s not what you said at the time’ response. But the fact that it was delivered second-hand meant that I could get space from it quite quickly and sit with it for as long as I needed. So, a few weeks later, having had some more time to reflect and to stay curious as to what I’m noticing in other parts of my work life, I’m now in a place where I feel I’d like to act on some of the feedback and to create stronger boundaries based on other people’s likely expectations of me, so that I’m perhaps not 100% me 100% of the time with 100% of the people, instead I choose to bring the most helpful or valuable part of me to meetings or one-to-ones to try and get the best outcome I can. I can now see the journey I’ve been on with this feedback: from shock, to self-protection, to curiosity, to acceptance and in the end to action. 4. Ask for feedbackMy final tip is to ask for feedback. We tend not to get enough feedback in general, so ask for it. Warts and all, the smooth and the crunchy. Be prepared that some people won’t enjoy giving tough feedback and some won’t ever do it, it’s important to respect that. But some people in your world (often those with a Courage strength I’ve found) WILL be prepared to give you supportive and challenging feedback and that will always be invaluable to keep you humble, learning and evolving. Finally, try to cultivate a growth mindsetFor a bit more on cultivating a learning mindset, which is closely related to receiving feedback well, check out my recent podcast/blog on how to develop a a growth mindset at Season 9, episode 10. I hope that you’ve enjoyed this podcast. if you’d like to get more from your every day, please do sign up to our emails for simple and practical hints and tips on everything strengths and life. The sign up form is at the bottom of this page. Till next time, go get that feedback! Get the The Strengths Guy podcast on all major podcast platforms. Find it on Apple podcasts, Spotify, Google podcasts, Stitcher, ACast, TuneIn, Breaker and Soundcloud. Please support this podcast by subscribing to get it at the start of the working week!
Related posts:Via https://www.strengthscope.com/dealing-with-negative-feedback/ Why bother with a development plan and why now?During times of uncertainty AND at the start of each year, people often focus in a little more on their personal and professional development. This makes sense, because when you’re less sure what the world is likely to throw at you, at least you can create a greater sense of control by working on yourself – making yourself more employable, ensuring your skills are transferable – as well as giving yourself a boost of self-esteem by in some way becoming a better you. In these times, there’s also another factor at play: people taking back more control of their lives by focusing in on what they love. What better areas to develop than those that give you the greatest feelgood, or that you’ve always wanted to stretch a little bit and do more with. Combine all this with us moving further into the New Year, when we’ve all had a little time to reflect on the important things in our lives and we’ve maybe even made a commitment to ourselves to get out there (or stay in there) and do that thing we’ve been promising ourselves we’ll do for years but have never quite been able to get round to it.
5 ways to make your personal development plan work for youToday, I’d like to offer up my tips for how to own your development for the year ahead. I’ll be taking you through how to:
Tip 1. Find your purpose and link your development goals to itMy first tip is checking in with your purpose when considering your development options. When I say purpose, I’m talking Ikigai-level purpose (in other words, your life purpose, what you’re striving to achieve on Earth) – check out my podcast and blog on Ikigai for more on that which is at Season 6, episode 6. It’s called ‘Want to live longer? You need Ikigai’. Separately, I’m also talking about your work objectives. If you can aim your development goals for 2021 towards one area and meet both of those purpose criteria (life purpose and work purpose), then great. If you need to treat them separately, that’s also fine (and is probably more likely). First your life purposeTo the big one first, your raison d’etre, your reason for being, the legacy you want to leave the world. If you have a handle on your personal purpose and you’ve done some work on it already, great – then how might you align your development with that purpose in some way? For example, if you want to help as many people in the world, or in your local community as possible to live more fulfilling, happier lives, you could ask yourself are there skills you could learn or knowledge you could acquire that would help you to get there quicker or with more enjoyment perhaps? So whichever way you’ve chosen to make your purpose happen, could you perhaps: (idea 1) Learn different communication skills to get your message out more widely? (idea 2) Could you collaborate with other people or organisations to get them on board and do you need to upskill to do that? (idea 3) Do you need more skills or knowledge or experience to better help the people you want to help? Whatever you do development-wise, if you have purpose behind that development goal, you will stick at it longer because you will be fuelled by something bigger than you. Next your work purpose, or work objectivesWhen it comes to work purpose, you can ask yourself the question again – what are the main things you are trying to achieve but this time in your role at work and how can you develop more skills or gain more knowledge or experience to better get those things delivered? If there’s a lot of things that your work role requires of you, in order to focus your development, maybe find the most important element and find the area to develop that will give you the greatest payback, rather than spreading your development too widely and not getting the return you’re looking for in any area. Or find the one thing to develop that will positively affect as many of your work objectives as possible. That could be an area where you feel your knowledge or experience is lacking a little or it could be an area where you are already strong but where you could get even better with some more development. Tip 2: Be realistic about what you can do development-wiseBe realistic about what you can do, in addition to your day job and to your life outside of work. Even if your development plan has extra oomph because you’ve linked it to your purpose, if you’ve been over-optimistic with what you’re expecting from yourself, all too quickly, you’ll end up feeling like you’ve failed because you haven’t been able to achieve what you wanted in the time you’ve set yourself. So show yourself some kindness and set yourself up for success by being realistic with the time and energy you can devote to your development rather than setting yourself up for a fall by taking on too much and then giving up once you miss a milestone or a target. Celebrate your successes along the way too – every step forward is progress and that’s worth remembering. Don’t fall foul of New Year’s resolutionsAt the start of each year, many people inadvertently set out with great intentions for their year ahead after having made New Year’s resolutions. But to make these stick, they need to be realistic. When we have a holiday or time to relax (for many people, that can be around the time of the Christmas break, or summer holidays, or whatever it may be in your world), we start to believe that with only some minor reorganising of our diaries, we will be able to accomplish incredible things in a way that is so different from the last time we tried it. However, realism and past learnings can be great allies here – aim for progress not perfection and you will arrive at a development plan which you’re much more likely to stick with for longer. Imagine setting yourself some goals for the year ahead which you ACTUALLY ACHIEVE! So far then, we have the link to purpose and to make your plan realistic.
Tip 3: Supercharge your development plan with strengthsWhatever you have created by way of development goals, there is always, literally always, a way that you can add even more zing and punch to the achieving of those goals by personally selecting the strengths you will call into action to help you. So pick from your top strengths – and if you don’t know what these are, you need Strengthscope. I’m talking about those strengths which are going to help you the most to get your development goals met. It could be Resilience to get you charged up by a tough challenge, it could be Self-improvement to get energy from the learning and development journey, it could be Results focus to get a buzz from chugging through that development plan. Whichever strengths you call up, make sure that you know exactly how you’re going to use them from a practical POV, so that you notice when you need them and when they’re in use and how that feels different to you (if the approach is working, you should feel more energy for your development longer).
Tip 4: Stretch a strength to supercharge yourselfSpeaking of strengths, an opportunity for development that is much undervalued is planning to stretch the strengths which you’re already most comfortable using day to day – those qualities that energise you and that you’re already great at, or have the potential to become even greater at. My tip here is to sift through your top strengths and take an honest view on that. Are there any which when you think about it are pretty much always delivering for you without the need for much effort but which also are slightly in neutral, underused…you’re not pushing them because you don’t need to, or because pushing them might feel a little risky? If the answer’s yes, then an opportunity for your development plan is to take one of your strengths by the hand and ask for more from it…potentially much more, ideally aligning it with your purpose, and your work goals. It might feel a little indulgent at first to consider developing something that is already in good shape, but all the research points towards this being the most efficient and enjoyable way of delivering greater value to the world when you consider your development options. For more on that, check out my podcast and blog on Why you should be directing your learning towards your strengths – which is at season 7, episode 6. Tip 5: Get a development buddy on boardLast tip: connect up with others to help keep you focused on your goals, to celebrate your successes and highlight to you if you’re going off track. To make this work, you need to find a person or people who will genuinely stick with you and who will be prepared to ask the tough questions of you when you need them to, but of course from a place of support and appreciation.
Summary for owning your development in 2021OK, that’s it from me for this week – my tips are to own your development for the year ahead by checking in with your purpose, being realistic, bringing your strengths into play, maybe even developing a strength, and getting a learning partner or two on board. I hope you’ve enjoyed this blog. If you’d like to get more from your every day, please do sign up below to our emails for simple and practical hints and tips on everything strengths and life. Till next time, stay strong! This podcast is available on all major podcast platforms. Find it on Apple podcasts, Spotify, Google podcasts, Stitcher, ACast and Soundcloud. Check out the back catalogue and subscribe to get them every Monday morning. Related posts:Via https://www.strengthscope.com/how-to-own-your-development-in-2021/ Podversation with Larissa BattThis podcast will be of interest to anyone who ever needs to persuade or ‘sell’ anything to anyone ever. Which is of course everyone. And it will be of particular interest to people for whom selling in a commercial setting makes up a significant part of their role. We chat about:
FREE DOWNLOAD – Strengths in influencing – positives and watchouts(opens in new window) Get more great content straight to your inbox! Sign up for free here. In this podcast, I’m going to be chatting with a colleague and dear friend of mine, Larissa Batt. At the point of recording, it is Larissa’s last day with Strengthscope – she is flying off to an amazing new role in a couple of weeks’ time and I was pretty desperate to catch her before she left so that I could get from her the good stuff on how you can use the strengths approach in a sales context.
Larissa, why is the strengths approach important in a sales context? Perhaps the most important element of strengths in sales is around being true to yourself and enabling your sales team to play to their natural strengths. People buy from people and it’s very obvious if you’re being fake or trying to be someone you’re not. This is also important for sales managers to bear in mind because instead of trying to mould your sales team to be a certain way, you should instead focus on helping them to tap into their natural energy and strengths because that’s likely to glean the best results. Not only will they come across as more authentic to their customers, they’ll also be happier in their role because they’re going to be doing things they love and this will mean they’re more likely to go above and beyond for their customers. Research shows that by using a strengths approach at work, customer loyalty can be driven up by 44% which in turn has a result on customer profits. What are the watchouts do you think? The biggest watchout for a salesperson is definitely a strength in overdrive. This is when you overuse a particular strength to the point that it has an unintended negative impact. This is even more of an issue if your customer has very different strengths or energies to you so it’s important to get to know your customer on a human level to understand how they might react to certain conversations or situations. I for example know that Persuasiveness is my strength most likely to go into overdrive in a sales context – it’s probably why I got into sales in the first place because I enjoy winning people over, but I appreciate that people don’t like to feel sold to. Instead, I dial up my Relationship building and Results focus strengths to really understand the customer’s perspective and map out a project delivery plan that’s going to get them the results they need. Do salespeople need certain strengths to be successful? The beauty of the strengths approach is that you can have a very diverse team who are all achieving the same results, it’s just the way they get there is different. The most important thing is to be aware of how to best use their natural strengths and that they build skills in areas that need addressing. You’re actually better off having a diverse sales team because diversity in thought will lead to more creative solutions and if you’re building a project team for a larger bid, you’ll be in a stronger position if you have all your bases covered. The only additional point I would add to this, is there are lots of different roles within sales – there’s business development, customer success, business partnering – and as you progress within your sales career, it’s important to reflect on where you’re happiest. I started in new business development and it gave me some great skill-sets – it became obvious to me though that my true path was within Customer Success (otherwise known as account management) and that’s because of how important long-term strategic relationships are to me. As much as I enjoy winning that first deal, I’m not willing to pass the relationship on to another team member. What are your top tips for people listening who want to use the approach in their own sales work or sales teams? First, be aware of your natural strengths and how to use these to your advantage. Don’t try to be something you’re not. Ideally take a strengths-based scientifically validated assessment like Strengthscope®, but if you don’t have access to that, you can ask yourself, ‘Where do I perform at my best and at my happiest?’ This will give you a sense of where your true strengths lie. Second, be aware of your risk areas be they skills gaps, energy drainers or strengths in overdrive and come up with a development plan to address these. Only focus on the areas which are affecting your sales, there’s no need to plug all gaps just for the sake of it. A great way to get a sense of your development points both positive and negative is to get 360 feedback and I encourage you to get it from customers as well as internal stakeholders. Third, understand what makes your customers tick by getting to know the human as well as the organisation. This will help you to navigate the relationship and be mindful of potential pitfalls in the sales process. A question I quite like to ask in intro calls is what do you enjoy most about your job and what do you find most draining?
Thank you Larissa. For spending time with me and in this conversation on your last day at Strengthscope. And thank you for coming to work at Strengthscope – you have left an indelible impression on me, the team and our products in your time with us. Best of luck for the future. I hope you enjoyed this podcast. Look out for more, based on my conversations with fascinating people over the coming weeks as I bring my Collaboration strength out and get some chats going with some folk who have a unique perspective on strengths that they want to share with you. If you’d like to get more from your every day, please do sign up to our emails for simple and practical hints and tips on everything strengths and life.
The Strengths Guy podcast is available on all major podcast platforms. Find it on Apple podcasts, Spotify, Google podcasts, Stitcher, ACast, TuneIn, Breaker and Soundcloud. Please support this podcast by subscribing to get them at the start of the working week!
Related posts:Via https://www.strengthscope.com/learn-to-influence-the-strengths-way-strengths-based-selling/ What are the benefits of a growth mindset?So today’s blog is on growth mindset. Such a powerful concept which is central to positive psychology. Evidence links growth mindset to a variety of positive outcomes: higher goal achievement, motivation, lower stress, anxiety, depression, better work relationships and higher performance levels. There is so much science to back it up – Carol Dweck at Stanford University is the person to go to if you want the science and the evidence on the power of growth mindset. And while Dweck’s research is focused mainly on promoting the development of growth mindset in schoolchildren, fabulously, it is also possible to develop a growth mindset later in life, even if you come from a starting place of fixed mindset, as many of us do (including me – more on that later).
What is growth mindset? And what is a fixed mindset?So, before we get on to my tips on developing a growth mindset, I need to explain what I’m talking about. I need first to explain the twin ideas of growth mindset and fixed mindset. So having a fixed mindset means that you generally believe that your abilities and your intelligence are fixed and can’t be changed and that you pretty much have had them since birth. Having a growth mindset means that you believe that the development of skills and abilities and intelligence can evolve and change through persistence and hard work. Why does this matter? Well, if you come from a place of fixed mindset, you might avoid challenges because you don’t want to feel embarrassed or humiliated in front of others. This can become an issue because your fear of making mistakes can lead you to avoid challenges and new experiences—experiences which could actually help you grow, develop, and create the life that you want. Why does this matter – what happens to people with each mindset?If you have a growth mindset, you are more likely to enjoy challenges, despite the risk, usually because you value learning and growth more than you value any anxieties you may have about others thinking you don’t know what you’re doing. Because you’re willing to give new things a try, you often don’t know what you’re doing, at least not initially. But you don’t see that as a threat, more as an opportunity to learn and to get good at stuff that you might come to value. With a growth mindset, you end up with a belief that you can overcome challenge and over time, you build up evidence that proves that point – so it becomes positively self-fulfilling. While following a fixed mindset is also self-fulfilling, but in the opposite direction, because your avoidance of new, potentially embarrassing, situations means that you stick with what you know as a form of self-protection, but you limit your development as a result. The origins of fixed and growth mindset – taking it way backBy the way, most of us have been programmed to be more fixed mindset than growth mindset partly because the negativity bias primes us to be fearful of potentially threatening experiences. And partly, because of well-intentioned teachers, parents and caregivers thinking they were being helpful when they told us that we were smart or good at something or naturally talented. When actually that feedback was setting us up to just keep doing the stuff we knew would get us that praise (the stuff we could already do) rather than pushing ourselves by taking risks which might result in failure (and therefore not praise). As it turns out, it’s far better for our teachers and caregivers and parents to praise effort rather than achievement, because effort leads to more learning and places a longer tail on development. So, if you have the sense that you might have more of a fixed mindset than a growth mindset, what can you do? Tips for developing a growth mindsetHere are my 5 top tips for developing more of a growth mindset whatever stage of life you’re at. It’s never too late: 1. Learning hurts so focus on the whyWhen we go from unconscious incompetence (the not knowing that we are bad at something), through conscious incompetence (becoming aware of how rubbish we are), through conscious competence (baby steps of progress towards being half-decent) and ultimately unconscious competence (where we have likely mastered a skill to a degree of automation) – when we go through that cycle – we go through pain. The pain of realising our own imperfections, the pain of looking foolish as we start our journey towards skill acquisition, the pain of the time and effort it will take for us to get to our visualised goal. So often that’s enough for us to not start a new learning project or to stutter to a halt on something pretty early on after we’ve started. Pretty quickly, that pattern can lead us down the self-protection path of fixed mindset. An antidote to this is to always focus on the why – why are you doing the thing in the first place? Where were you trying to get to, what did you want to do that felt like a positive destination or staging point? I’ve tried to learn guitar and not made it very far a few times. I’m about to try again and what I have in my head as I start into that learning endeavour is me playing a particular track that I’ve always felt rocked. As it goes, it’s Papa Roach, Last Resort. Not because I’m a rocker and not because of the lyrics but because the guitar part is EPIC. So there’s my why. I want to be able to get to a place where I can play that guitar section and it sound good, or at least recognisable. Whatever you’re trying to develop or learn, make sure you keep the why close by. 2. Focus on the learning, not the mistakesAs Nelson Mandela was once famed to have said, “There is no failure, only learning.” Did he say that? Or was it Einstein? The internet will tell you all sorts of people said that probably, including me now. Well one thing’s for sure (probably), Thomas Edison said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” And that attitude led to the invention of the lightbulb, the record player and film. And unless it was a deep fake, I’ve also heard Michael Jordan (the basketball legend) say, “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” So what are these people all pointing towards? That taking a positive and realistic attitude towards experience, in other words, adopting a growth mindset – learning from failure – can lead to incredible world-changing, record-breaking achievements. Always focusing on the learning and then applying that learning next time, brings us to an inevitability of progress, because how can we do anything other than progress if we’re constantly tweaking and levelling up when things don’t go our way? Plus, we get better at pushing through the learning pain barrier that I talked about a few moments ago because we’re reprogramming ourselves to see failure and mistakes as a positive developmental experience and not as something that should induce fear, anxiety and avoidance. My eldest son has got himself into the county basketball team after only a year of playing the sport – he’s not the tallest, he’s not a dunker, he’s not the strongest, he’s not the fastest. But, he is a role model of growth mindset and a constant source of inspiration to me to remember to always take the learning. When I ask him ‘what did you learn from today’s training?’ he always, literally always has several answers. The guy is looking for the learning, looking to get better, bit by bit. Same with his schoolwork, quite miraculous really and a perfect demonstration that a fixed mindset is not inevitable – we can all develop a growth mindset. 3. Aim for progress not perfectionI’ve podcast before now about motivational drivers (Season 6, episode 8, How to change the habits of a lifetime) – those brain programmes we are given in early life by the people who we trust and for me, the overwhelming driver is one called ‘Be Perfect’. In practice, what that means is that I have been programmed to avoid mistakes, to get it right, to assume that there is a right and to seek praise by getting it right. I now know this and I’m working on it, by telling myself (as much as I’ve been telling other people for my entire life) that mistakes are human, I’m human, and that’s all ok. But when I found out about growth mindset, it worried me that I might be leaking out my Be Perfect driver all over my kids, just like my Dad leaked it all over me (‘colour inside the lines!’). So, instead of seeking perfection which is often impossible and if it is possible, it comes at such a personal price, when you aim for progress not perfection, you value the process over the end result. You start to see the tiniest of wins as wins nonetheless. You become kinder to yourself, and in time, so does your self-talk, the inner voice that gives you feedback. If it helps with your self-talk, try and think of yourself as an eight-year old kid struggling with something but committed to getting there. What would you say to that kid – would you be critical or would you be encouraging? Encouraging right, so try and cultivate that encouraging, nurturing voice that gives you feedback all the time. I’m not saying that’s easy by the way but it’s worth keeping going with. It will make a difference to you developing a growth mindset – a mindset that values learning and progress and the journey and not the end product. 4. Own it, honestlyWhatever your context – if you’re parenting, if you’re adulting with friends, if you’re in self-reflection – my tip here is to talk openly and honestly about mistakes when they happen: what went wrong, what happened, how that’s ok and what you learned, and what would you want to do differently next time, if anything? When I first found out about growth mindset, typical me, I immediately started to talk with my kids each night at the dinner table about things that I had messed up during the day. To normalise it, to make it ok and to encourage them to see mistakes and messing up, failure if you like as an opportunity to learn rather than as something to be avoided. This went on for a few weeks and then it kind of petered out, but I remember that being helpful for me (and hopefully for the kids) to start to see that it’s ok to be human and to talk about it too. 5. Growth mindset and strengthsLastly, I want to talk about how growth mindset and strengths, based on years of experience of this area seem to have an interesting, perhaps even initially tense relationship, when people first learn about the strengths that make them unique. I’ll be honest, first off, it can feel weird to step into our strengths and to even think about stretching them because it can feel risky and actually, our underexplored, even unknown strengths may be the greatest sources of our fixed mindset. Take my Leading strength, for example. Other people have often said to me “wow what a risk to take to start your own business, to employ dozens of people!” But to me, it’s never felt that risky. I started small, as most people do. Just me, then me plus one, two, then eight and so on. I’ve started and run several companies, getting people round a goal, a shared purpose and moving us in that direction. But have I truly stretched that strength out of its comfort zone? For example, have a I started a movement to really shift people’s thinking in areas that matter to me? Have I? I’m not sure I have. Have I really stretched that strength? Or am I still relying on it in that early developmental stage? What fears and anxieties might I have around this? And being honest about it, I realise what comfort there is in playing small but what opportunity there is in playing large. Stepping into and stretching your strength areas can be a great opportunity to shift into growth mindset, take some risks, and develop new behaviours and new habits through choosing a different attitude. I have some more thoughts on this area that I shared in my podcast at Season 4, episode 2 – self-sabotage and what you can do about it. In summary – 5 top tips for growth mindsetOK, so there’s my 5 tips:
I appreciate this isn’t relevant to everyone, but from a parenting point of view, do watch Carol Dweck talking about the power of yet and talking about the importance of helping children to develop a growth mindset – you can watch it below, or just Google Carol Dweck – Developing a Growth Mindset and you’ll find it. It’s about 10 minutes long. By the way, all the points she makes are as relevant to adults as they are to kids.
I hope you enjoyed this week’s blog. If you’d like to get more from your every day, please do sign up to our emails for simple and practical hints and tips on everything strengths and life. There is a form at the bottom of this (and every) page on the blog to do so. Till next time, choose growth. The Strengths Guy podcast is available on all major podcast platforms. Find it on Apple podcasts, Spotify, Google podcasts, Stitcher, ACast, TuneIn, Breaker and Soundcloud. Please support this podcast by subscribing to get them at the start of the working week!
Related posts:Via https://www.strengthscope.com/how-to-develop-a-growth-mindset/ 2021: Let’s be having youSo here we are at the beginning of 2021 and I wanted to start you off on the good foot by helping you consider your year ahead and how you’re going to take control of your year to make it as fulfilling, as energising and as you-shaped as possible.
Strengths, risks and energyNow given that I’m the strengths guy and I look at life and work through a strengths lens, it would be remiss of me, nay reckless, to ignore the relevance of your strengths in helping you to navigate a positive path through the year. So that’s one area I would like to consider. I also want to give some consideration to areas that drain you and making sure that these don’t get in the way of your 2021 too much. When we think strengths, we often think energy and while strengths are a great way of maintaining your energy during each day, they’re not the only source of energy replenishment for you to consider as you think about the year to come. So, energy is topic no 3. Where I want to start though is to get you to consider what you learned during the year past – 2020. The year that introduced the phrase Covid-19 to a global audience. So let’s start there – because in considering how you handled the seismic changes required during the last 12 months, you’ll get a better read on what to keep in mind during the next 12. Driving forward by looking backMy last podcast of 2020 was titled ‘the benefits of gratitude and how to get them’ and in it I talked about being grateful for whatever the year past had brought, including the challenges. So in starting to think about your year ahead, consider what you learned about you when faced with challenges last year. Because when we’re under pressure, we can make conscious choices about how to deal with whatever challenge is in front of us – we can choose to get help, use our strengths, buy time, whatever tactic is going to be most helpful. But often, when we’re placed under pressure, we can snap into ‘risk mode’, which will see us overusing our strengths or getting caught in a draining cycle where we’re trying to draw on qualities in ourselves that we don’t have much of. So what have you learned about you that can help you shape your year ahead? My learnings – the dangers of Optimism and Strategic mindedness in overdriveFor me, I felt that I was a little late to acknowledge the significant effects of Covid on our business. That was a combination of Optimism in overdrive (a ‘bubbling under’ strength for me) and being overly focused on the longer-term view (my Strategic mindedness) with a Flexibility drainer thrown in for good measure (I don’t like it when plans change). I had to learn to listen to others in the team who were calling for emergency scenario planning and taking quick action with the team to make sure we were going to be ok through some pretty uncertain months. My learning this year is to ask for this support quicker and to listen to it more carefully. Sure, there is a place for hope and optimism and for a longer-term view but when you’re in a crisis, deal with it as a crisis until the crisis has passed. The value of Collaboration and EmpathyI also learned how valuable my Collaboration and Empathy strengths can be to make sure that I find points of similarity and mutual interest with others that I’m working with and also outside of work (that’s Collaboration). And also, to bring in Empathy as a way of recognising how other people’s experiences are differing radically from mine. We are all different, we have very different experiences of the world and it’s important for me to always remember to seek first to understand and then to be understood (as the great Steven Covey once said). How will you use your strengths to drive value in the year ahead?So I’ve moved us on there to considering how you can use your strengths more effectively and mitigate your risk areas for 2021. Personally, I will do that by choosing to use my most energising strengths to create value in my team and for myself and to keep myself energised throughout the year. That will come for me through Collaboration – working with and through my relationships on projects of mutual interest. And from Empathy – shutting up and listening more to understand others’ perspectives so that we can get a better solution and people feel more engaged with that solution. And remembering to bring in Leading to make sure that we all get from A to B directly, safely and with our energy reserves not depleted too much. So how does 2021 look for you through that lens of strengths? Ask yourself which strengths will define your year and specifically how will you use them? To do what? How will they create value? How can you avoid your biggest risks tripping you up in 2021?Next up are risk areas – strengths in overdrive and drainers. I’ve already mentioned some of mine and how I plan to mitigate those risks. BTW, I also have an Efficiency drainer so will need to remember to share with them how much I value other people’s Efficiency and their delivery against the plan. Plus, I resolve to move more quickly towards flexing the plan when we need to because of a change in our operating context. I’ll do this by drawing on other people’s Flexibility and dialling back on my Optimism and Strategic mindedness. Again, ask yourself how this looks for you…what are your most significant risks as we head into the year – your strengths in overdrive…what triggers them and how can you manage the risks of them going into overdrive? And what about what drains you…what help will you need to get you through that and what other strengths can you draw on in order to get stuff done which doesn’t naturally play to your strengths? For me, when it comes to my Efficiency drainer, if I can’t enrol other people to help with the planning, I’ll just nut down and do it anyway by drawing on my relational strengths, because I want to make sure that everyone else is ok and that they have their needs met. Manage your energy by finding your joy and building resilienceThe last area for you to consider in planning to take control of your 2021 is the broadest – how to maintain your energy throughout the year. So I have two earlier podcasts I want to draw from here which should help and I’ll give you some summary nuggets too. First up: Find your joy – which lives at Season 7, episode 9 – for your year ahead, I think it’s really important to reflect on what gives you sheer, unbridled, childlike joy and to do more of it. It may sound indulgent, but if you key into what brings you the most joy and build those activities and experiences into your weeks and months ahead, you will be better able to keep your energy levels topped up. For me, I’m going to start planning in some new experiences (a big source of joy for me) and put them in my new wall year planner. Even if some of those plans need to change unexpectedly during the year, I’ll have them visible for me to look forward to as I go into the year ahead and that will help me manage my energy as it’ll give me something to looks forward to. Second – stay resilient. My podcast on that topic is at season 8, episode 2. As a summary, you can build more resilience by controlling your controllables to manage stress and letting go of those things which you can’t control – most people have about 50% controllable and 50% not in their lives. Second, choose your mindset – you can choose to adopt a negative or a positive frame as a way of looking at the world and that choice makes a difference to your resilience…taking a positive approach, when you’re ready, helps you to open up choices on how to handle difficulty. And thirdly, build out your social network as this has been shown to reduce stress, anxiety and depression which in turn builds your resilience. Final point, if you’re keen on new year’s resolutions, I have a podcast on goal setting for the year ahead at season 6, episode 3 which gives you 4 top tips to do that well. OK, that is it for this week, hopefully setting you up for a year ahead which is stronger than ever. If you’d like to get more from your every day, please do sign up to our emails for simple and practical hints and tips on everything strengths and life. Till next time, stay strong. The Strengths Guy podcast is available on all major podcast platforms. Find it on Apple podcasts, Spotify, Google podcasts, Stitcher, ACast, TuneIn, Breaker and Soundcloud. Make sure to subscribe to get them at the start of the working week!
Related posts:Via https://www.strengthscope.com/projecting-forward-for-the-year-taking-control-to-boss-2021/ 2020: a tough year2020 has been challenging and damaging in so many ways. For many people, it has been completely life-changing. We have all experienced a sense of loss this year, but for some of us that has been loss of health, of loved ones, of livelihoods and of futures. There’s not much positive to be had in any of that. At least not on the face of it. And yet, somehow, even while the world has in large part been hibernating and grieving, there have been good things happening. T
The value of practicing gratitudeSo what I want to talk about in today’s podcast, as we come towards the end of the year and we plan for a festive break like no other, is gratitude. Finding gratitude, sometimes starting that process through gritted teeth, but nonetheless feeling gratitude for what we have been able to do, what we have been able to learn, what we have been able to enjoy this year.
Emotional and psychological benefits of gratitudeFirst, the science bit: links between gratitude practice…being grateful regularly…and health outcomes has a significant and growing body of evidence behind it. Here are some highlights: 1. Gratitude practice is a better predictor of life satisfaction than 30 different aspects of personality, like extraversion, compassion, openness (Wood, Joseph and Maltby, 2009). And don’t forget that personality is pretty set, whereas being grateful…you have control over. 2. People who practice gratitude report being less anxious, less depressed and happier than those who don’t (Cregg and Cheavens, 2020). This may be to do with how easy it is to access positive memories for people who are grateful, versus negative memories. And we know that the negativity bias (that I podcast on way back) primes us to pay more attention to negative than to positive events and things around us, so it would make sense that making it easier to mentally find positive things acts as a buffer for us from the brain’s pre-wiring to go negative. 3. Grateful people are better able to cope with challenges and setbacks because they are more likely to seek social support, reinterpret negative events and take the learning from those negative events (Wood, Joseph and Linley, 2007). So being grateful leads to greater resilience. 4. People with a gratitude practice sleep better (Wood, Joseph, Lloyd and Atkins, 2009) – it’s thought that this is probably to do with grateful people’s improved access to positive things they want to remember about their day just before they go to sleep. In summary, if you’re more grateful more of the time, then you will be more satisfied with life, less stressed, less depressed, happier, more resilient and get a better sleep each night. And in terms of the research, that’s just the start. There is loads more research out there that I haven’t even mentioned. I mean, seriously, if you could find a medical treatment that could give you all that, you’d make a fortune. But no fortunes required here, just a shift in mindset and some shifts in behaviour.
Top tips for building gratitude into daily lifeSo, if those are the benefits of being grateful, how can you get them, what are the tips and tricks from the grateful among us? Well here are four: RitualiseFirst up, there are lots of ways of making gratitude part of your day, every day. And the more often you practice gratitude, the better results you get according to the research. Some ideas…first idea, start your day by coming up with 3 things you’re grateful for, and vary them too. Second, start a gratitude journal. Journaling is a big thing these days right? Actually, it always has been. It basically means keeping a diary and in it, recording (amongst whatever else you want to record) what you’re grateful for today. Looking back at what you’ve written increases the chances that you’ll encode and deepen those positive memories. And doing it at the end of the day will almost certainly help with sleep because of the accessibility of the positive memories you’ve just written about. Third idea is over dinner, maybe when you’re with your loved ones, or on your own, using that as an opportunity to say what you’ve been grateful for that day (either in your head, or if you’re with others, out loud). All of those ideas will help you to ritualise gratitude – everyone’s different so riff it and see what works for you. Go smallSecond, try and find gratitude in all different aspects of your day. Don’t miss the small moments, like the taste of your morning cuppa, or a beautiful sunrise, or the feel of rain on your face, or a chance chat at a shop with someone you haven’t seen for a while. And within some small moments, there are big things you can be grateful for. Like the fact that you probably have water you can drink and somewhere to live and food you can eat and your health is ok. I talked at Season 1, episode 10 about Going Slow to appreciate the small things – eating and drinking, experiencing life. Mindfulness and meditation also have a part to play in this. Mindfulness enables you to be in the moment and really truly experience what is happening for you at that moment in time. And when you are mindful, you can be more appreciative and more grateful for what you have and for what you are experiencing moment to moment each day. PeopleRemember the people important to you and how grateful you are to them and for what. Record that, encode it, remember. And then TELL THEM. Dropping them a text is amazing. Calling them and speaking to them is even better. That stuff has astonishing powers. It may feel like it’s going to awkward but when you get into it, and when you’ve done it, you’ll feel great, and you will have made the other person feel great. And by the way, top tip for making it less awkward if you’re on the receiving end of gratitude from someone: just take it. You might feel an overwhelming urge to diminish what you’ve said or done that they’re being grateful for. But don’t. You’re being given a gift. Let it in. There is good research also in this area that by showing gratitude in this way to people, they are more likely to do the same. That’s also true for showing kindness and compassion. So if you go out of your way to vocalise your gratitude or pass it on in some other way, it’s highly likely that you will start a chain reaction of gratitude that makes a difference to dozens of people, not just one. SetbacksOk Covid, what have you taught us? I mean, you weren’t trying to particularly, you were mainly trying to survive and multiply with all the havoc you’ve wrought as a result, but what are the things that you have forced us to learn, to do differently? Well for a start, many of us are pretty darn good now at using video call technology, even if we had no plan to be at the start of the year. Many of us know our local areas better than we did at the start of the year too. And we may well know how to handle unexpected change better than we did back then. So being grateful for our challenges and problems and setbacks and taking the learning from them is another area of focus for gratitude. So when faced with setbacks, ask yourself – what can I learn from this? What have I learned from this? What will I do differently next time, if anything? The more we are grateful even for the tough stuff, the more resilient we become and the better able we are to cope with change. Reflective gratitude idea alert!So there’s my four tips for practicing gratitude. One final thought as an end of year opportunity for reflective gratitude. For about 15 years now, I’ve played a game with my family on New Year’s Eve that I came up with. I’ve made a fairly amateurish looking card deck with a category on each card. For example – hero of the year, villain of the year, music of the year, meal of the year, film or series of the year and so on. I’ve never missed a year and this year will be no different. I find that the process we all go through really helps to put the year to bed positively, to be grateful, to be real about the tough stuff and to start out afresh in the new year. I would totally recommend it. I’m off for a Christmas break but I will be back first thing in 2021 for more Strengths Guy podcasts. Till then, please subscribe and share, particularly with the people you know who will get something from the podcast. Until 2021, stay strong!
Related posts:Via https://www.strengthscope.com/the-benefits-of-gratitude-giving-thanks/ |